As I sit contemplating...

As I sit contemplating in my spare time I realise I have managed to rub many people the wrong way recently.Blame it on stress , blame it on the quick temper gene , blame it on the wrong words at the wrong moment ; yes I have had quite a brush with quite a few people too recently.Then I read somebody's words somewhere : There is only so much time to be alive but plenty of time to be dead. So live every day like it is your last !!!!
If I were to die tomorrow I would be not free of few guilt pangs.And there would be no turning back.I might have seemed arrogant to many a people for few of the things I did.When I sit and reflected over a cup of coffee , I didn't like what I saw and what I had done.I sit up.I make up my mind.I need to make amends.I make a list of people I need to say sorry to.Its hard.I know some will perhaps not even care to reply me back.I know because I have done that in the past.But all I care and know is that convey your words without expecting immediate and certain retribution.That's the beauty of saying a genuine sorry.
I take my pen and paper.I am a person with pride.My vices are my ego , my stance in life (which I mostly thing is right and don't change much ; I can be quite egg-headed at times.. ) and many more which do not come to my mind immediately.Vices of my own device which I can't kill with a steely knife.I still have my pen and paper in hand.Good start.
I make up my mind for sure.Yes I am going to swallow that lump of pride and say Sorry.Now I know why sorry is the hardest word to say.I might be everything you think I am but I can't live with the guilt of doing something wrong and just be indifferent.I am going to say Sorry.And with every kill of the keyboard jabs , I wrote a few lines to the ones I felt I owed it to.
Always believed that few is more.And that's what I did.And trust me I haven't felt so good in a long long time.I don't expect any 'Its ok'..'its fine' in return.But I feel good from inside.Maybe even the trials of life has not yet brought down the 'humane' in me...I hope so much I am right this time..

~A, Its ok to be human, to err and say sorry...